As of June, 2017, I finally have a story of true weight loss success, but before I can begin, I need to write the
end of Chapter One. Here’s the post I
should have shared five years ago.
“The Tip-it Man (Jan 12 post) fell off his post. The mean-girl
voices were right. I failed – again. I’ll never win at losing. I’m sorry.
I just can’t try again.”
Here’s what quitting looked like.
I Failed
I’d shifted my focus
to health instead of weight. The fitness counselor compared the results of my first (Nov. 5
post) and second health test (March 6). There
was no improvement. I choked out one word, “How?” “I don’t know. You’re working hard,” she answered as she reviewed
my exercise log and handed me a Kleenex.
The next day I wrote the Color of Disappointment but was determined I
wasn’t going to give up.
I Lost
They announced the finalists for the Chairman’s Challenge at
work. I wasn’t a finalist even though I
was told I had inspired more people than any other participant. Why? My weight
loss wasn’t even close to other employees’ results, and I had shown no health improvement. Words weren’t the results that
counted. I’m embarrassed to admit I was
angry. I’d done it the “right way” - a
restrictive, time-consuming, six-meals a day, healthy diet and long hours of
exercise. In my opinion, the winner
cheated. He’d used a “nutrition system”
with a crazy name. (More in a later
blog!)
I Worked
My boss went on medical leave for three months, and I was
chosen to be her substitute. That “honor”
meant I kept all my responsibilities and added hers. I was determined to stay on track, but slowly
that hope waned. I continued to get up
insanely early but went to my desk instead of the gym. When the clock said
water aerobics, I was drowning in work and couldn’t go. Weekends became work days. I don’t know when I stopped hoping I would
get to the pool, but before long, pushing through exhaustion was my exercise. (Referenced
May 12)
I Lied
Right before my boss returned, they permanently closed my gym and the
pool. The other water aerobics classes
in town were during work hours. So much
for being an athlete (Feb. 2) and finding the exercise I would do for the rest
of my life. (Dec. 14)
I Gained
Realistically, I couldn’t continue the restrictive diet and
so many hours of exercising. The 32 pounds I took six months to lose took less than half that time to find me - and they invited more fluffy friends
to the party. Once
again, a temporary weight-loss success led to weight-gain. I was discouraged, stressed, overworked, exhausted, and fatter than I’d ever been. I was done.
This truthfully ends Chapter One. I was and am done with dieting.
(Spoiler alert - since June of 2017, I've shed 65 pounds and 60.5" inches
Stay tuned. Chapter Two will be a very different story.)
