The Color of Disappointment

If disappointment was a color, I would have to begin with bright yellow. The greater the hope and anticipation for success, the brighter the yellow must be. Without hope and anticipation for something good, there cannot be disappointment. I must paint the brightest yellow on my canvas because my hopes were high.

 If disappointment was a color, I would have to add blue. Blue to symbolize the tears that may or may not flow down the cheeks but are waiting to show in that moment when the disappointment first hits. The greater the difference between the expected results and what occurred, the deeper the color of blue. I choose to add a deep, bright blue on my canvas.

It seems appropriate that if disappointment was a color it would morph into the green that reminders me of the horrific smell and the sick stomach I experienced when I first saw ugly, Pea-Baby-Poop Green. It accurately describes the sick feeling disappointment brings.

Although the result of this mixture seems appropriate, if disappointment was a color it must include Hot Dog Pink. Hot dogs are meant to be eaten, but if one went down my wind pipe it chokes me. The only goal is to expel it quickly. Disappointment chokes and can make it hard to breathe. There is that brief moment when I feel that dreams and hopes are about to end. What a tumultuous moment disappointment creates! There must be a conscious effort to not allow that turmoil to lodge in the heart but to take the unexpected result and honestly look at the positives of “what is” instead of “what I had hoped.”

What an amazing discovery. If disappointment was a color, it would be beige. As the artist, I know there are hopes, tears, and a moment of turmoil that has given me the gift of this primed, neutral canvas. I choose to throw away Dark Gray Discouragement and Stop Sign Red from my paint palate and not allow them anywhere near my canvas. Instead, I’ll add the colors of Bright Green Go and Steel Determination and name my new canvas Growing Green.